Unexpected
The Short Story “Unexpected” that was written by Margie Mequibas a third year student of The Fisher Valley College was not so attracted to read. Her Story goes like this.
They are invited to go to the party in Pangasinan Province, they are all very excited in the party especially their children, because their children are first time to go there and they don’t have any idea about the life in the Province and they expecting also to meet some new friends. And the day that their waiting for was finally arrived that was October 1, 2011 everything was ready. They riding in their own car, everybody was so happy and so excited but when they are in Balintawak Exit, they got their wrong way, sad to say their driver is not familiar in the road to Pangasinan. The worst, they don’t have knowledge that there are two super typhoons in Pangasinan Province, because when they are in Pampanga Province the weather was nice and there is no sign of any typhoon.
Finally, they arrived in Sta. Rita, Pangasinan, one of the busy towns of the said Province, but not yet on the place that they really want to go. Then suddenly, the rain was pouring and they thought it is normal rain fall. They can not move fast because their driver is not familiar in the place. The rain is so hard, and they saw the water level increasing, but still they don’t have any idea if where is the right way to take, they just hoping that there is a signage that can teach them if where is the right way so that they will never be lost again. But they don’t have choice, that is way they tried to ask some help from the people in the place, and finally they got their right way. But the water get so high, and there is a flood already they got nervous because they saw a lot of animals that are floating and their service car was stranded already, but is still they keep to relax and not panic. They thought that the flood was only in that particular area but they really surprise when they found out the almost 100% of the Pangasinan region was flooded. They are very hungry that time but there is no any convenience store to buy food or any small store. Then, they received a phone call from their relatives in Pangasinan they are asking if where they are so that they will rescue them but sad to say they are not familiar in the place so that they can not answer them directly. About an hour ago, they finally got a help from the people there, they offered help, they are very thankful that time and they realize that the people there are so kind and helpful. Their car was destroyed because of the flood, and they have to bring into the car shop to fix it. Another good thing happened because the owner of the shop is a Brgy. Councilor, so they are now already safe.
They are still very happy despite of what happened, and they considered it a very unforgettable experienced and enjoyable as well, they thought it was their last day in this world but because of the faith, the prayer and hope through the help of Almighty God they survived and they still enjoyed the party.
There is no main character in this short story as my professor said a short story should have a one main character. It’s really hard to criticize a one thing that you do not know and you have any idea about it, she used the word “we” as a start of the story. She did not Specify a one main character in her short story that is why there is no what we called “external and internal conflict” of the main character.
She used the name “Bernadette” and maybe she is the secondary character in the story. But she did not maximize the rule of this person in the story, it was used once. A side from that, she did not specify if who Bernadette is in the story.
The conflict was there, but the author did not specify if what time the conflict happened. And she did not also give exact reason why the flood happened
The Author used a point of view, she involved her self in the story and she is the one who telling the story. But she did not use any of the three points of view that we discussed a couple of weeks ago, she used “we” and as far as I know this word is not part of point of view. She used “we” in the whole short story. The author did not use any other point of view. That is why there are no any changes in the story with regards to the point of view.
Based on what I read, The Short Story “Unexpected” written by Margie D. Mequibas
was not so good, this is not totally a example of Short Story because the author did not used many of the things that needed to create a good short story like the main character, point of view and plot even though she included some conflict but it was not detailed and it so predictable. There is no any conflict that the reader can feel pain, sadness, happy or anger as well. A side from that short story has no any Rising action in short there is no reason to Intensifies the conflict.
Yes, I was able to relate to the story because was in the same situation before in our Province. I don’t feel anything, not even happy, sad or happy either, if you read the story once you know all ready everything and you will never get excited to read it for the second time around. And the short story will easy to forget because of no conflict, no special happened.
This short story is really easy to rate, because of lacking many characteristics that the short story should have like the main character, plot, point of view. I will just give this short story 70% rating. And with regards to the grammar, sorry to say but 50% of the short story are grammatically error, the organization of ideas of this short story is not consistent.
Before you do a short story you should know the things that you should consider to make your short story more attractive and more consistent. And make sure that all the characteristics of the short story are there and make a good choice of title, so that the reader will motivate to read your story, because sometimes the title will bring curiosity to the reader. Grammar is very critical you should check it carefully so that the reader will not be disappointed. And to write a short story or any kinds of story it should be with heart, so that you’re story will never be boring.
It is my pleasure to critic this short story, and I hope that I made my part very well because I did my very best to judge this short story.
They are invited to go to the party in Pangasinan Province, they are all very excited in the party especially their children, because their children are first time to go there and they don’t have any idea about the life in the Province and they expecting also to meet some new friends. And the day that their waiting for was finally arrived that was October 1, 2011 everything was ready. They riding in their own car, everybody was so happy and so excited but when they are in Balintawak Exit, they got their wrong way, sad to say their driver is not familiar in the road to Pangasinan. The worst, they don’t have knowledge that there are two super typhoons in Pangasinan Province, because when they are in Pampanga Province the weather was nice and there is no sign of any typhoon.
Finally, they arrived in Sta. Rita, Pangasinan, one of the busy towns of the said Province, but not yet on the place that they really want to go. Then suddenly, the rain was pouring and they thought it is normal rain fall. They can not move fast because their driver is not familiar in the place. The rain is so hard, and they saw the water level increasing, but still they don’t have any idea if where is the right way to take, they just hoping that there is a signage that can teach them if where is the right way so that they will never be lost again. But they don’t have choice, that is way they tried to ask some help from the people in the place, and finally they got their right way. But the water get so high, and there is a flood already they got nervous because they saw a lot of animals that are floating and their service car was stranded already, but is still they keep to relax and not panic. They thought that the flood was only in that particular area but they really surprise when they found out the almost 100% of the Pangasinan region was flooded. They are very hungry that time but there is no any convenience store to buy food or any small store. Then, they received a phone call from their relatives in Pangasinan they are asking if where they are so that they will rescue them but sad to say they are not familiar in the place so that they can not answer them directly. About an hour ago, they finally got a help from the people there, they offered help, they are very thankful that time and they realize that the people there are so kind and helpful. Their car was destroyed because of the flood, and they have to bring into the car shop to fix it. Another good thing happened because the owner of the shop is a Brgy. Councilor, so they are now already safe.
They are still very happy despite of what happened, and they considered it a very unforgettable experienced and enjoyable as well, they thought it was their last day in this world but because of the faith, the prayer and hope through the help of Almighty God they survived and they still enjoyed the party.
There is no main character in this short story as my professor said a short story should have a one main character. It’s really hard to criticize a one thing that you do not know and you have any idea about it, she used the word “we” as a start of the story. She did not Specify a one main character in her short story that is why there is no what we called “external and internal conflict” of the main character.
She used the name “Bernadette” and maybe she is the secondary character in the story. But she did not maximize the rule of this person in the story, it was used once. A side from that, she did not specify if who Bernadette is in the story.
The conflict was there, but the author did not specify if what time the conflict happened. And she did not also give exact reason why the flood happened
The Author used a point of view, she involved her self in the story and she is the one who telling the story. But she did not use any of the three points of view that we discussed a couple of weeks ago, she used “we” and as far as I know this word is not part of point of view. She used “we” in the whole short story. The author did not use any other point of view. That is why there are no any changes in the story with regards to the point of view.
Based on what I read, The Short Story “Unexpected” written by Margie D. Mequibas
was not so good, this is not totally a example of Short Story because the author did not used many of the things that needed to create a good short story like the main character, point of view and plot even though she included some conflict but it was not detailed and it so predictable. There is no any conflict that the reader can feel pain, sadness, happy or anger as well. A side from that short story has no any Rising action in short there is no reason to Intensifies the conflict.
Yes, I was able to relate to the story because was in the same situation before in our Province. I don’t feel anything, not even happy, sad or happy either, if you read the story once you know all ready everything and you will never get excited to read it for the second time around. And the short story will easy to forget because of no conflict, no special happened.
This short story is really easy to rate, because of lacking many characteristics that the short story should have like the main character, plot, point of view. I will just give this short story 70% rating. And with regards to the grammar, sorry to say but 50% of the short story are grammatically error, the organization of ideas of this short story is not consistent.
Before you do a short story you should know the things that you should consider to make your short story more attractive and more consistent. And make sure that all the characteristics of the short story are there and make a good choice of title, so that the reader will motivate to read your story, because sometimes the title will bring curiosity to the reader. Grammar is very critical you should check it carefully so that the reader will not be disappointed. And to write a short story or any kinds of story it should be with heart, so that you’re story will never be boring.
It is my pleasure to critic this short story, and I hope that I made my part very well because I did my very best to judge this short story.