Love at first Sight
There was a boy named Christian a good looking, and we can consider him as
handsome. Christian is walking, going to somewhere until he saw a garage that lots of people
are going there. In the garage, Christian saw a frame that has a painting of a beautiful young
woman. Christian became interested to the painting and he wants to buy it and he calls the girl
that is selling in the garage, her name was Kathleen. Christian ask a lot of questions to Kathleen
until he ask a very interesting question to Kathleen “Who is that woman in that painting?”
Kathleen said that she is Cathleen my cousin.
Christian wants to buy all the stuff that is related to a woman in the painting, until
Kathleen asks “Why are you interested to buy all the bits and pieces of my cousin?” Since
Christian can’t use all the girls stuff that Kathleen gave to her. After some conversation
happened Kathleen asked Christians number. After a week Charmaine goes to Kathleen’s
house and asking to get all her things but Kathleen told to her that her parents command her to
sell all your stuffs because they thought that you didn’t need it anymore and someone bought all
your bits and pieces. Charmaine said that she wants to get all her stuff again and asked
Kathleen on how she will get her stuff back to her. Kathleen gave the number of the buyer.
When Charmaine got home she tries to call the number that Kathleen gave to her. Meanwhile,
Christian is staring at the painting that she bought to the garage when he heard his cell phone
ringing Christian answer the phone and Kathleen asked if she can get all her stuff that was
bought in the garage. Christian set a meeting place where will they going to meet.
When they met at Shakey’s Christian didn’t brought all the stuff that he promised to
Charmaine, besides to the painting that he brought in the meeting place. Charmaine asked
Christian in a livid voice and said “Where’s my things?” and Christian said that if you want to get
all your things we have to see each other at one at the time and I will bring your stuff one at a
time too. Charmaine scolded him and said that “But that’s my stuff”, Christian interrupted her
and said “Excuse me It’s already my stuff because I bought it already. Charmaine said “I can
buy all my things to you again” Christian said “It’s under my control now. So take it or leave it?”
Charmaine left Christian to the restaurant. After that day Christian called Kathleen and asked a
lot of question to her especially about Charmaine and why is it that she is a man hater? Then
Kathleen told everything about Christian that Charmaine has a disloyal, cheater boyfriend
before and Kathleen told to Christian all the things beyond Charmaine’s past relationship.
Christian became interested to Charmaine. After a week Christian and Charmaine met again
and Christian brought one of Charmaine’s stuff it’s a C.D that composed of a beautiful songs.
Charmaine told to him that all the song in that C.D is her favorite. When Christian heard that, he
said that all the songs in that C.D are already his favorite. When Christian knew that he stand up
in the middle of the restaurant and asked for a microphone to the waiter and he began to sang
one of the songs in the C.D the “Angels brought me here”. While Christian is singing the song all
the people in that place are staring to Charmaine. After that wonderful performance the crowd
gave Christian a round of applause and some of the customers are standing while clapping. The
girl sitting near to their table say’s that “your blessed with a good boyfriend. Charmaine can’t
resist blushing.
After that meeting Charmaine starts to have a feeling to Christian and she promised to
herself that if Christian proposed to her to become her boyfriend she will not think a hundred
times and she will say YES. Meanwhile, Christian is excited to meet Charmaine again because
he is planning to propose to Charmaine to become his boy friend and he is expecting a positive
feedback from Charmaine. That day come and Charmaine is in her way driving to the
restaurant, while driving she noticed that her car doesn’t have a break and she bumped to the
tree and some good citizen helped her and send her in the hospital. In the interim, Christian is
waiting her in the restaurant but no Charmaine come in the restaurant where they are going to
meet. Until Kathleen call him and inform that Charmaine is in the hospital. Christian is rushing to
the hospital. In the hospital, Christian proposed to Charmaine. Charmaine answered “yes” to
Christian. After 3 years in the relationship they got married and after a year they a child.
Christian is a boy that is matured we can consider him a handsome in the sense that he
respect all the people surrounds him and he is gentleman and as I read the story he is talented
and a smart kind of a guy. He talks of a thing with a sense. He is a kind of a person that is not
easy to give up. He is dedicated to get what he wants and for me he doesn’t have a weakness
as I read the story. He will do everything to get Charmaine.
Charmaine is a kind of a woman that is a man hater. She is beautiful. She is a kind of a
person that is aggressive due to the past relationship that she experience in the past.
Charmaine is giving much important in her things and her weaknesses are that she can’t easily
forget the past. She should forget the bad things that happened to her and look to the positive
way of her life.
Nick is a kind of a person that is disloyal and cheater. He is the ex-boyfriend of
Charmaine and he is the reason why Charmaine is a man hater. Kathleen is a simple girl. She
speaks peacefully. She can communicate well. She cannot keep a secret, for me that’s her
weaknesses and her strength is that she serves as a cupid to the story because she is the
reason why Christian and Charmaine meet.
The main character creates a lot of prevailing action especially when Christian didn’t
give up showing his feelings to Charmaine. Even though in the hospital he pursue what he
wants to told to Charmaine. To the conflict for me it is external because it has the relation to the
other character especially to Charmaine.
As I read the story it is easy for me to understand the whole story because I easily find
out the conflict in the story. When we talk about the plot the sequence of the story is quite
summarize and there is some part of the story that is not complete.
Some parts of the story are confusing, it is quite logically and there are some phrases
that should be revised to make it clear to the reader. There are some words that should be
omitted.
The kind of the conflict is external and prior to that, the conflict started to Charmaine
because of her past experience about her boyfriend Nick. Nick is the past boyfriend of
Charmaine.
Nick is the reason why the conflict started to Charmaine because Nick is a cheater,
disloyal boyfriend. That’s why she became a man hater until he met Christian. The series that
best show of conflict is that when Kathleen is telling to Christian about Charmaines past
relationship. If the reader had a common sense the reader will easily find out what is right or
wrong between Nick and Charmaine because it is self explanatory.
Be specific in some parts of your story because it didn’t identify or specified the things
that you are pointing in the story. There are words that are redundancy you should be aware of
that. There are words that are not appropriate in some sentences. You should be aware of using
past tense of the words especially if the situation is in the past.
There are words that should be omitted in some phrases because it’s just an excess and
it is not needed. Be aware of using second person because some of your phrases are confusing
instead of using “his” you used “her”. Learn how to check you Grammar before you type it.
Learn how to use comma in some part of your story the reader will easily be tired of reading
your story because there are no commas.
There are some parts of the story that are not clear and some of the words are lacking.
Review the past, present, future tenses of the words and if you will apply or use it in your story. I
like your story it is easy to comprehend but since there are lot of mistakes it could be confusing.
I can sense that this story is related to the real story and I can relate to your story because I
know some couple that is the same to the story of Charmaine and Christian.